Amazing Funny Quotes

“That love at first sight should happen to me, was Life’s most delicious revenge on a self-opinionated fool.” -Charles Boyer

“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him.” -Cher

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” -Erich Segal

“When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires.”

“A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.”

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.” -Joan Crawford

“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”

“Marriage marks the end of many short follies – being one long stupidity.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

“Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.”

“Beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, though, maybe, an injured one.”

“Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” -­George Burns

“Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.” -Mirabeau

“To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia – to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.” -H.L. Mencken

“Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.” -Richard Pryor

“Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.” -David Sedaris

“Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?” -Rita Rudner

“Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.” -Joan Rivers

“Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” -Franklin P. Jones

“Love is hiding who you are at all times. It’s wearing make-up to bed and going downstairs to Burger King to poop.”