I got a lot of support from my parents. That’s the one thing I always appreciated. They didn’t tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.
Don’t you just hate it, when you are in bed with three beautiful women, and the least attractive one whispers: save it for me!
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
If I’m not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer.
Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them.
I discovered a new thing in the Lord’s Prayer that kind of hit me. “on earth as it is heaven” to me it means whatever you take out into the world is what you’re going to draw out. like those days when you’re all yang and no yin, and you’re fighting with people inside, and you can’t calm yourself down, and suddenly you’re pulled over by the cops. everything goes wrong in the same day because you created it. so, if you get heaven within you, it’ll be all around you. if hell is within you, it’ll be around you. it’s always created here first.
I would challenge anybody in their darkest moment to write what they’re grateful for, even stupid little things like the green grass that made them feel good, the friendly conversation they had with somebody on an elevator. You start to realize how rich you are.
“It is better to risk starving to death than surrender. If you give up on your dreams, what’s left?”
“My focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain, reduce it. And laugh.”
“Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them.”
“If you aren’t in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.”
“Either you’re the one erasing or you’re the one being erased.”
“My soul is not contained within the limits of my body. My body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.”
“As far as I can tell, it’s just about letting the universe know what you want and then working toward it while letting go of how it comes to pass.”
“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”
Lois Einhorn: Listen, pet dick. How would you like me to make your life a living hell? Ace Ventura: Well, I’m not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I’ll give you a call sometime. Your number’s still 911? All righty then.
Ace Ventura: Holy testicle Tuesday.
Lois Einhorn: What the hell is he doing here?
Ace Ventura: I came to confess. I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.
Lois Einhorn: Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom, you better be gone.
Ace Ventura: Is it number one or number two? I just want to know how much time I have.
Melissa: Hi, I’m Melissa Robinson.
Ace Ventura: Pleasure to meet you.
Melissa: Did you have any trouble getting in?
Ace Ventura: No, the guy with the rubber glove was
surprisingly gentle.ace ventura guy with the rubber glove
Lois Einhorn: What would you know about pressure.
Ace Ventura: Well, I have kissed a man.