He is like a female llama surprised in her bath.
Democracy is an awful way to run a country, but it’s the best system we have.
Dead birds don’t fall out of their nests.
You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught.
I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
You can always count on Americans to do the right thing after they’ve tried everything else.
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
Eating words has never given me indigestion.
I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.
Sunshine is my quest.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.
A joke is a very serious thing.
Don’t talk to me about naval tradition. It’s nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash.
A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.
There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies.
There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly illdesigned for the purpose
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative.
In those days he was wiser than he is now; he used to frequently take my advice.
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen.
The best argument against democracy is a fiveminute conversation with the average voter.
A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest
“Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.”
Never, never, never give up.
A communist is like a crocodile: when it opens its mouth you cannot tell whether it is trying to smile or preparing to eat you up.